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Mow Your Damn Lawn.
Monday, June 11. 2007
Those of you who know me are aware of my OCD when it comes to scheduling and doing things in order. Every Sunday morning between April and October at about 9:00 AM I get out the lawn mower and mow the entire lawn. If rain is predicted or something more important comes up I will mow the lawn mid-morning on Saturday or Monday when I get home from work. Regardless of the 1 day fluctuation in the schedule, my lawn is mowed about every 7 days. If I go more than 7 days things start to look like hell and I start to get irritated.
With that in mind I want you to look at this picture...
You've got to be kidding me.
This is the lawn of the guy who lives across the street from us. Each morning when I take the dog out for her walk I get the pleasure of looking at this display. I'm waiting for the day I see a camera crew filming Jeff Corwin as he hacks his way through the lawn with a machete looking for some type of exotic creature. Just yesterday I was across the street talking to Rachel (who is lucky enough to live next to the jungle) and we noticed that there is a clump of weeds that has actually grown higher than the fence that separates her yard from his. Those big weeds are scary looking. I've been sure to keep Nikki away from them on our walks because I'm afraid they will come alive and eat her. At this point I'm not scared for my own life as I don't believe they could consume an adult human. That may change in time if they are allowed to grow more.
Jess and I were discussing what we can do about this mess. At this point we do not have a piece of lawn care equipment that can handle a mowing job of that size. It seems that we have two choices. Choice one is to go get a commercial harvesting machine or something of that magnitude to obliterate anything that dares grow there. This is not a perfect solution due to the fact that the lawn is actually really small and it would suck to have to move such a large piece of equipment around. Our second choice is to get a number of goats to eat their way from the street to the house. The problem with this option is the amount of shit that much grass would generate when consumed by goats. I would then have to write a post about the buildup of goat shit on the dirt lawn across the street.
It's actually quite amazing that a lawn can be this out of control in June. We can only imagine what it will be like by the end of August (especially if we can get some rain). It's not out of the realm of possibility for the grass to actually grow up higher than the windows on the house. Now that would be some interesting stuff. We'd probably be in a public safety crisis by then because those big weeds would be eating at least one person a week.
Throughout the summer I will post updates on the status of this lawn.
With that in mind I want you to look at this picture...
You've got to be kidding me.
This is the lawn of the guy who lives across the street from us. Each morning when I take the dog out for her walk I get the pleasure of looking at this display. I'm waiting for the day I see a camera crew filming Jeff Corwin as he hacks his way through the lawn with a machete looking for some type of exotic creature. Just yesterday I was across the street talking to Rachel (who is lucky enough to live next to the jungle) and we noticed that there is a clump of weeds that has actually grown higher than the fence that separates her yard from his. Those big weeds are scary looking. I've been sure to keep Nikki away from them on our walks because I'm afraid they will come alive and eat her. At this point I'm not scared for my own life as I don't believe they could consume an adult human. That may change in time if they are allowed to grow more.
Jess and I were discussing what we can do about this mess. At this point we do not have a piece of lawn care equipment that can handle a mowing job of that size. It seems that we have two choices. Choice one is to go get a commercial harvesting machine or something of that magnitude to obliterate anything that dares grow there. This is not a perfect solution due to the fact that the lawn is actually really small and it would suck to have to move such a large piece of equipment around. Our second choice is to get a number of goats to eat their way from the street to the house. The problem with this option is the amount of shit that much grass would generate when consumed by goats. I would then have to write a post about the buildup of goat shit on the dirt lawn across the street.
It's actually quite amazing that a lawn can be this out of control in June. We can only imagine what it will be like by the end of August (especially if we can get some rain). It's not out of the realm of possibility for the grass to actually grow up higher than the windows on the house. Now that would be some interesting stuff. We'd probably be in a public safety crisis by then because those big weeds would be eating at least one person a week.
Throughout the summer I will post updates on the status of this lawn.
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